Judge my poetry, please. Constructive criticism needed, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.?

It is very cute and fun. However I believe that the point is lacking. If a reader, as in the commenter above, doesn't know the point then it is not translating well. Sometimes that is intentional, obviously, but I don't know what your intention was. Also I felt like it was a little bogged down by the alliteration, as if you were searching for words to make it work but not to aid the poem. I liked it though. It showed a great sense of poetic flow and I am sure that your other poems were great. Friends and family are the wrong people to go to, as I have learned as well. You can't let them tell you what you want to hear.